Monday, May 21, 2007
Escape Goat
I have a friend who's very dear to me. She is my Little Ms. Sunshine. She bugged me like a bratty kid, she called me silly names, she texted me in the wee hours of the morning with lyrics of a jingle she composed just to annoy me. She bullies me. I bully her. And we both love it.
When she left, she told everyone that she did so because she'd be enrolling to a law school. Meanwhile, she attended review classes on weekends and worked for another company on weekdays. Just a temporary plan until she could finally start law school.
Months after, she never pushed through with her supposedly plan. Then she told me what she just realized. She just realized that Law School became her escape goat. She wanted too badly to resign. Period. She didn't want to resign because she wanted to be a lawyer. She thought she wanted to be a lawyer because she wanted to resign. Did you get me? No. I know, me too.
But just to be clear, she didn't lie to us nor to our boss. Nor to herself. Her mind made her to believe that Law School is what she really wanted to make her happy. When in fact, she just didn't want her job -- with or without law school to fall back into. You can exchange law schoolwith medschool or business or housekeeping or carpentry and everything will fit in the picture just the same. Na-realized niya yun when she experienced to work for another company, for another boss. Na-realized niyang, heck, that is what she has been looking for: life. Not law school. Just "life".
Just. Life.
I want that. I want to have mine back.
When she left, she told everyone that she did so because she'd be enrolling to a law school. Meanwhile, she attended review classes on weekends and worked for another company on weekdays. Just a temporary plan until she could finally start law school.
Months after, she never pushed through with her supposedly plan. Then she told me what she just realized. She just realized that Law School became her escape goat. She wanted too badly to resign. Period. She didn't want to resign because she wanted to be a lawyer. She thought she wanted to be a lawyer because she wanted to resign. Did you get me? No. I know, me too.
But just to be clear, she didn't lie to us nor to our boss. Nor to herself. Her mind made her to believe that Law School is what she really wanted to make her happy. When in fact, she just didn't want her job -- with or without law school to fall back into. You can exchange law school
Just. Life.
I want that. I want to have mine back.
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