Sunday, April 10, 2005
Realization
I was meaning to do a ranting. You know, how I've been "tulala" most of the times lately, asking myself if there's really something worthwhile for me to do with my life. I was feeling kinda "empty" in a sense that there seemed to be nothing in this world that I can be good at. I'm not getting any younger and my list of achievements still remains empty. I've been talking to myself most of the times, trying to figure out what exactly is my passion. How can I be useful? I've been a burden to my parents for almost 23 years already (not to mention, I don't really stand as a good role model to my younger bros). As my Mom put it, "Maawa naman kayo sa daddy niyo. Gustung-gusto na umalis sa isang trabaho niya hindi magawa." It hit me. One time, BIG time. So you can just imagine how I was feeling terribly, terribly worthless.
Until I got to chat with one of my best friends. She was thanking me for the thousandth time for being there for her during the lowest moment of her life. She said that choosing me to be her friend was one of her wisest decisions in life. That even though we didn't get to see each other often, when she needed me most, I was always there by her side. She said those words with most sincerity, almost closed to tears. That's when I smiled, my heart skipped a bit, and I felt alive again.
Perhaps I haven't been a big help to my parents in terms of financial assistance. Perhaps I can't give them yet my diploma that they've been dreaming all their lives. Perhaps I'm still not a successful career person that they can tell their friends about. But I'm pretty sure I can make them feel damn proud because I've been a good friend once in my life. That there's this one person in this planet that acknowledged me as a good soul. That for this one person, I'm not worthless, and that I had actually done something invaluable in this lifetime.
Until I got to chat with one of my best friends. She was thanking me for the thousandth time for being there for her during the lowest moment of her life. She said that choosing me to be her friend was one of her wisest decisions in life. That even though we didn't get to see each other often, when she needed me most, I was always there by her side. She said those words with most sincerity, almost closed to tears. That's when I smiled, my heart skipped a bit, and I felt alive again.
Perhaps I haven't been a big help to my parents in terms of financial assistance. Perhaps I can't give them yet my diploma that they've been dreaming all their lives. Perhaps I'm still not a successful career person that they can tell their friends about. But I'm pretty sure I can make them feel damn proud because I've been a good friend once in my life. That there's this one person in this planet that acknowledged me as a good soul. That for this one person, I'm not worthless, and that I had actually done something invaluable in this lifetime.
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