Because great things happen when you take a bite...

Tsaka ko na ipe-perfect, for now, ito na muna. :)

2am on a weekday. Dead tired and sleepy. But darn happy for spending time with long time friends and a long lost friend. Plus, free dinner was never a bad thing after all. Quite nauseous though for absorbing grown up issues like a v. serious financial crisis. Panicking upon realizing that we have not saved a single penny since the day we started earning.

Arms: Kahit wala tayong ipon ^_^” masaya talaga ako para syo.

Kirvs: May ipon kaya ako..kayo. (drama!)

Arms: Nakanaman! Syet..in fairness, kahit drama, tumagos siya. :p

Sa bawat event namin, meron kami laging student volunteers. Last year for our Manila event, we had volunteers from UP Diliman and from New Era University. Some of them are still in my friendsters. :) (While one I almost murder with my bare hands.)

In Pattaya, half of our volunteers ay galing sa isang elite na exclusive school.
Officemate: So what's the population in your school?
Student Volunteer (in a "The OC" kinda slang tone): Lika around a hundred-eighty or somethin'.
Officemate: That small? How come?
SV: 'coz it's expensive.

Oh-key. Most of them spent more time doing their make-ups than in helping out sa mga dapat gawin. There was this girl na pinaka-bratty. Nagtutulog siya nang harapan while nagle-lecture yun officemate ko during their training. Siya rin yun walang pagdadalawang-isip na dumiretso sa boss ko para alamin kung anong oras ang uwian "because I need to tell the driver what time he should pick me up." At syempre, kanino pa siya mapupunta kundi sakin, di ba? Her name is Nang.

Hate is such a strong word but I really, really didn't like her. Kapag nagdidiscuss ako sa kanya ng task niya, she had this very bored look on her face na as if I was the reason why she couldn't curl her eyelashes right.

On the evening before the first day, I asked her (with another student volunteer) to set up the plenary hall. Feeling ko gusto na niya ko isumpa nun dahil almost 11pm na nun pero wala siyang magawa.

I almost give up on her. I already accepted the fact na kelangan ko siyang tutukan kung ayaw kong mamatay ako sa bawat screwed up task na gagawin niya for me. So as soon as she walked inside the Plenary Hall the next day, I handed her a hard copy of the protocol at inutos (yes, hindi na ako naki-usap) ko sa kanya lahat ng dapat niyang gawin sa anong oras sa paanong paraan at kung how long I expected her to accomplish it. Kung sa iba at dating volunteers namin, sobrang nilalambing at sinusuyo ko pa para gawin nila yun task nila, for her, hinde. Straight to the point. Apparently, that's how it would take her to respect me. She looked at me straight in the eye. She asked questions to clarify if she got my instructions correctly. And she assured me that she will not screw up. "I'll do it, Armine. Please don't worry. I'll do it." Then off she went to her expected position.

By the end of the day, she asked me if I got enough rest. She sneaked out some food from the snack counter for me. And nagvo-volunteer siya mag-help kapag nakikita niyang busy ako. Since then, oks na kami. And I then called her my prodigal daughter. hehe!

My Vietnam Volunteers, Dung and Vi, are different. Pareho na silang teachers sa University nila. Half of my burden sinalo talaga nila. Sobrang bait, sobrang sipag, at masaya kakulitan. Minsan nga nata-Tagalog ko sila at navi-Vietnamese nila ko nang di sinasadya. Ganun na kami naging at ease sa isa't-isa. Dami ko na nakwento sa kanila at nakwento nila sakin about sa mga buhay-buhay namin. Yun tipong animated na kwentuhan na parang long lost friends kami. Siguro kaya naging less strssful din for me yun event na yun dahil sa kanilang dalawa. At sa ampon naming volunteer na bibong bata na si Tran. Everybody just loves her. She studied in Singapore for her highschool bilang scholar. Tapos after ng college, magaaral daw sya ng med sa Australia ata. Sya ang batang kahit bibo eh di nakakaasar kasi alam niya kung pano lumugar. Sayang lang hindi kasi uso ang friendster sa kanila. hehe!

Ngayon, bat ko nga ba naisipan ikuwento sila? Wala lang. Naisip ko lang sila last night. Yun mga funny, amusing anecdotes they shared with me. They are the people na sure akong di ko na makikita ulet for the rest of my life, but have definitely gave me some colorful stories to tell and remember.


L-R: Armine, Tran, Vi, Dung and Ktin (officemate)

Happy Birthday to the best RHYAN REYES of the elite Dairy Dose group!!! World's definitely crazier (ergo: better) with you in it. :)

Here's to more years of :
-richness (sa ngayon, si Jac lang muna ang nasa category na 'to. Bukas, sasamahan natin siya. hahaha!)
-poorness (ayan, andito muna tayo ngayon)
-laughter (corny jokes na bumebenta pa rin kahit palugi; bashing & payabangan)
-tears (o, wag na natin i-broadcast pa)
-frustrations (sa lahat ng aspeto ng career, significant others, friendship, jealousy, issues, chismis, at life in general)
-success (Gold at diploma kahapon, a winning Lotto ticket bukas)
-foodtrips (mang Jimmy's, Ate na nagbebenta ng fishball, squidball, etc. sa CHE, isawan sa Vinzon's, Tearoom, o sa mga karenderya sa labas ng village nila Jac)
-roadtrips (ano na sa impromptu trip to Tagaytay para lang mag-lunch ng alas-tres ng hapon? Kumusta naman at naka-semi-formal pa ata tayo nun?)
-career talks (sa loob ng Honda habang pauwi tayo sa malayong bayan ng Rizal, sa garahe nila Jac habang nakasandal sa naka-park na Mazda at umiinom ng red horse + extra joss ng ala-una ng umaga)
-gaguhan talks (aside sa mga na-mentioned na instances above, eh isama na rin ang normal na usapan sa araw-araw)
-love (heartaches, heartbreaks, or the opposite)
-friendship (ito na yun, wag ka ng lumingun-lingon pa!)
...and everything in between!!!

(Magto-toast tayo ng Coke para sa lahat ng 'to pag nagkita tayo)

Happy Birthday, Rhyan!!!!!!!!!

Grabe na yung naganap sa buhay ko ng dahil sa feasib kong 'to. Friendship + Gold yun eh. Dati pa naman, takot talaga ko ma-attached sa mga tao. Siguro kasi ayoko nung bandang huli eh may goodbye mode, syet, ayoko nun! Pero mahirap maging hindi attached sa groupmates ko. Sa kanila ako nakaramdam ng extremes of emotions. Sobrang saya, sobrang busy, sobrang petiks, sobrang lungkot, sobrang dreams, sobrang disappointments, sobrang galit. At dahil sa naging successful silang iparamdam sa akin ang lahat ng 'yun, officially kong ina-announce na, oo, sila ay nabibilang sa mga taong may napaka-lakas na impact sa kung sino ako ngayon at sa kung anong disposition meron ako. Hindi ako nagpapakita ng emotion sa harap ng maraming tao, pero hindi ko na napigilan kahapon, lekat, umiyak ako!!! At nakakatawa mang aminin eh nakaka-proud din, na Oo, hindi lang ako kundi lahat kaming groupmates ko! Eeeww!! Sabi nga ni Rhyan, "very chummy!!! Ack!!!" hahaha! Kinailangan niyang kunin ang mic at mag-speech, "Hindi kami umiiyak ng dahil naka-gold kami. Umiiyak kami kasi naging sobrang close kami. At ngayon, tapos na ang lahat. Ito na yun eh! Practicum na lang eh!" Even Ma'am Roscom and Ma'am Parker ay nagpupunas ng luha. Nyahahaha! Sabi nga ni Ma'am Parker, sa class niya pa kasi kami unang naging close, tapos ngayon, makikita niya nang magpa-prac na kami. Hindi kami GC's, kundi more than anything else, masaya kasi kaming manggago. Oo, pasaway akong estudyante kabaliktaran ng inaakala nyong Uno-aimer ako. Reason lang namin for competing in class ay ang challenge na asarin ang mga GC's na may naka-beat sa kanila at ito ay ang mga pasaway nilang classmates. Goal lang namin sa pag-o-overnight eh ma-avail ang Red Horse + Extra Joss combo (na lately ko lang pinatos) na isang inuming parang Iced Tea ang lasa pero ayos naman sa lakas-tama. Goal lang naming kumanta sa Magic Sing ng alas-dos ng umaga habang may carpentry na nagaganap sa garahe. (Way back during Cactus days!) Goal lang naming tumawa, mag-pauso ng katarantaduhan, maki-uso sa vocabulary ni Rhyan at magpayabangan (ito ang pinaka-masayang part sa lahat).

Hindi ako natulog kanina kasi gusto kong i-maximize ang oras na magkakasama kami + ang beer, naka-tengga sa labas ng bahay ni Jac, naka-sandal sa Mazda, at nagkukuwentuhan ng lahat ng kababawan at kalaliman ng buhay. Ayokong maging attached. Pero dahil obvious na obvious na attached na 'ko, eh hindi na 'ko bibitaw. May officially new set of boring/gimik buddies na 'ko na nakakaalam ng kamalditahan ko. Kapag tinanong niyo sila kung mabait ako, magdadalawang-isip silang sumagot! Nyahahaha! No goodbyes.

Through this entry gusto ko palang magpasalamat sa isang importanteng matalik na kaibigan. Grabe yung suporta at tulong na binigay niya. Sabi nga nila Rhyan sa akin eh sobrang swerte ko raw sa kaibigan. Wala raw siyang friends na gagawin sa kanya yung ginawa for me ng kaibigan kong yun. Dahil dun, lekat, naiyak ako. Na-realized ko lalo kung gano talaga nga naman ako ka-swerte. Walang pagdadalawang-isip andun siya karamay ko. Kasehodang isang linggo na siya puyat at yun ang moment na supposedly eh ka-gimik siya ng mga blockmates niya. Meron akong naiisip na million and one reasons kung bakit pwedeng tanggihan niya 'ko, pero hindi niya yung ginawa. At hindi ko masabi kung may makakagawa pa nang ganung sakripisyo for me ulit sa tanang buhay ko. Grabe, ibang klase ka talaga. Hindi ako nagtataka kung bakit at one point in my life eh minahal kita nang sobra-sobra. Salamat, dude. Hinding-hindi ko 'to makakalimutan sa buong buhay ko. Forever akong magiging thankful kasi ngayon eh matalik kitang kaibigan. Bigyan lang ako ng pagkakataon at babawi ako, promise.

Sa lahat ng encouraging words na natanggap ko, maraming-maraming salamat. Hindi niyo alam kung gaano yun nagma-matter sa akin. Hindi lang grade ang usapan sa feasib na 'to. Test of your whole character talaga. By-product na lang ang grades, palamuti kung baga. Pero yung experience, yung roller-coaster ride of emotions, yung hatred, love, patience and friendship, iba 'to.

Nga pala, mula ngayon, addict na rin ako sa Pinoy Big Brother bilang isang favorite break time ng feasibmates ko. Nyahaha!!!

I somehow believe that being good is a selfish act. People do "good" things for self-gratification, and not really for the mere reason of helping out or making others happy. I did a random act of goodness towards a stranger this early morning, and the smile that kid stranger had given me was enough to keep me cheery all day. Then it dawned on me while I was inside a PUJ on my way home from school. Doing "good" deeds for others makes do-ers feel "good" about themselves. So really, if you gonna think it further, doing something "good" for other people is nothing far from having a sexual intercourse. You don't do it just to please your partner. More than anything else, you do it for yourself because it gives you pleasure. So the same thing goes for acting kind, understanding, thoughtful or generous towards others. The happy feeling other people get is just a by-product of your intention to make yourself feel good. No selfless act there, no way.

What's interesting is that this concept also applies to life, death, and most evidently, to love. As Anjo put it, "selfish talaga ang love, Pau." I couldn't agree more.

So I was thinking, if selfishness reveals itself in both good and bad actions, then what could have been an example of a selfless act? Christ dying to redeem us, perhaps. But how about some normal human being actions?

Funny. Virtues, love and sex are all printed on the same page of the book after all. Now I can see what "generous" and "merciful" people feel when they give alms to beggars. Orgasmic? :)

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+
Scenario: Lazy 8am, freezing cold classroom, bored Armine, Jac & Rhyan at the back seat row,next to our College Secretary/Professor. Eternally waiting for the reporters to begin. My phone beeped. I read the message. Hit the reply button and pressed the keys. Rhyan was breaking his neck as he tried to read what I was typing. I turned my back on him and continued texting.

Rhyan: At bakit kinikilig ka???? Nakakahiya ka!!! Kinikilig ka????!!!! Ang landi-landi mo!!!

By now, all heads had turned to me and I was trying to decide as to whether sapakin si Rhyan for broadcasting it, or shrink myself until I disappear coz he was so telling the truth. Fuckers! I can't help it, the text message was from you know who! :) *referring to the previous journal entry*

I was meaning to do a ranting. You know, how I've been "tulala" most of the times lately, asking myself if there's really something worthwhile for me to do with my life. I was feeling kinda "empty" in a sense that there seemed to be nothing in this world that I can be good at. I'm not getting any younger and my list of achievements still remains empty. I've been talking to myself most of the times, trying to figure out what exactly is my passion. How can I be useful? I've been a burden to my parents for almost 23 years already (not to mention, I don't really stand as a good role model to my younger bros). As my Mom put it, "Maawa naman kayo sa daddy niyo. Gustung-gusto na umalis sa isang trabaho niya hindi magawa." It hit me. One time, BIG time. So you can just imagine how I was feeling terribly, terribly worthless.

Until I got to chat with one of my best friends. She was thanking me for the thousandth time for being there for her during the lowest moment of her life. She said that choosing me to be her friend was one of her wisest decisions in life. That even though we didn't get to see each other often, when she needed me most, I was always there by her side. She said those words with most sincerity, almost closed to tears. That's when I smiled, my heart skipped a bit, and I felt alive again.

Perhaps I haven't been a big help to my parents in terms of financial assistance. Perhaps I can't give them yet my diploma that they've been dreaming all their lives. Perhaps I'm still not a successful career person that they can tell their friends about. But I'm pretty sure I can make them feel damn proud because I've been a good friend once in my life. That there's this one person in this planet that acknowledged me as a good soul. That for this one person, I'm not worthless, and that I had actually done something invaluable in this lifetime.

How can I earn some extra moolah? I went to the mall with my best friend, and another good friend, yesterday. Never been interested in shopping actually... until yesterday. I found myself having fun, for the first time in history, rummaging thru all those girly stuff as we made our trip from one boutique to another. Perhaps I've been spending too much time with guys already, hence the refreshing feeling of cooling the day off with the girls, for a change.

i wonder how my soulfriend's been doing now. We had this "dinner date" last week to catch up on things, and to once and for all clear our heads off from the stress this cruel world has been throwing in our directions lately. I hope she'll make the best decision in her dilemma.

I'll hit the mall (again) tomorrow because we're required to attend this certain show/exhibit in mega trade hall. I asked my boyfriend to go with me in case his plans with his college friends won't push thru. I'm quite sure he'll hit it off with Rhyan and Jac.

The house is so quiet when my brothers aren't home. I miss tormenting them. bwahahaha!
It's Law class again tomorrow. I miss Pao Kulet already! hehehe! I'm not really used to not seeing him so often.

I've been sleeping the whole day, how come I still have an all-time low energy?! Got to get my ass off this chair or I'll be dead bored for the rest of the night.